insights into spanish "social" culture...

I keep saying that I will be better at keeping up-to-date with this blog, but alas, life abroad has not quite allotted me the opportunity (or I just CANNOT budget my time). It has currently been 6 weeks since I have been here in Barcelona and I guess all the incredible and surprising things about the city has sort of droned off into the background of my life here. Although I continue to put off doing laundry, buying groceries regularly, I have gotten used to the ridiculous amounts of walking, figured out the metro and learned to cook some (freaking) incredible catalan/italian food. You guys can be the judges of that when I get an apartment and cook pan con tomate and patatas bravas for you...get excited. I supposed the only things that continue to pop up everywhere are two things that are a bit jaded in the U.S.: P.D.A. and alcohol. Now, I know what you are thinking...is this really appropriate for a blog post? The answer is yes, and don't worry I won't be going into any uncomfortable details.

In the U.S. I think its safe to say that P.D.A. (public displays of affection) is pretty controversial: some people don't have any problems engaging in a little kissing in public, and others are totally against it. In Spain, it's almost as if the more affection you show in public, the more in love you are. My spanish teacher even told us that they just look at affection as a definition of love...thus, all couples do it. The metro is filled with couples kissing (with tongue and everything), and the beach is just over-flowing with couples displaying their love. I still can't believe the extent of people here that are so affectionate. Affection isn't something uncomfortable here, its something normal, usual. Even mothers and daughters hold hands, sons put their arms around their fathers...it's strange to me, because I am American, but it got me to think about our type of affection in the U.S. Why are we less affectionate?

Talking to my spanish friends, we came up with a few possible explanations. In Spain, family ties are very strong, and most kids continue to live with their parents until they are married or move in with their girlfriend/boyfriend. While living with parents, kids don't want to bringing their girlfriends/boyfriends home with them and so they find other places to spend time and be together. While we see love and affection as a private matter, to them it is not something that can be private. Sex in general, in Europe, seems is much less restricted. About 80% of spanish women don't wear tops on the beach, and men openly hit on women in the streets. Sex is openly discussed (even in our spanish classes!). Maybe this is why there are fewer violent sex crimes in european cities compared to U.S. cities.

When I think about kids staying at home for so long, it makes me absolutely love the way that family life works here in Spain; it's great that families are so close and kids can be dependent for so much longer. Instead of stressing about jobs, kids can just stay home and count on parents to support them until they find something for themselves. Most kids don't leave the city they have grown up in, and so they are so much more connected to "home" then most people in the U.S. Families usually eat big sunday dinners and maintain good relationships with uncles, aunts, cousins, etc. I am definitely not saying that the spanish mindset is better then the U.S. - to us, they seem over-dependent - it's just so incredible how different two cultures can be.

The other thing that I really love about spanish culture is the drinking culture. Kids are able to drink here legally at 16. Parents drink wine with their teenagers, they teach them acceptable drinking. Sure, kids, men and women get drunk here - but its not the same blackout drunk that we see in the lodges every weekend. Going to a bar, relaxing, & drinking socially is usual for students, even every night. We can buy beers in the school cafeteria during our breaks, and you can always find a group of spanish students sitting around laughing and drinking outside.

There's just something about restriction that makes everyone want to rebel. It's natural. When I see the way this culture handles both sex and alcohol, and then compare it to the U.S. it's just so obvious that we are over-restricted. If I could change two things about the U.S. it would definitely be in regards to those two subjects...and of course adding the siesta into our daily lives.

gran beso...
xoxo